I did them all.

I was nearly a year into that cushy job when a sibling went into the hospital in another country.

Instantly, I realized that I couldn’t be by their side through this — nor the months ahead — because my employer owned me. And this was how it was going to be for a long time. Maybe forever.

I saw this as the first step, on a long path of abandoning being the sibling, and woman, I thought playing by the rules would allow me to be.

And it wasn’t just my job.

Playing by toxic family rules with people who refused to heal, existing in shady friend group dynamics with people who weren’t growing in the same direction as me, and torturing myself over romantic relationships that I could have “made work” (but were ultimately wrong for me) were also chipping away at my spirit.

I felt crazy for not wanting to just “play along to get along”. Everywhere I turned, I felt I was being asked to compromise myself and ignore my instincts to fit in with people who weren’t living for themselves either.

And after that one Friday night I spent in urgent care letting a doctor run every test he could — and finding nothing wrong — I realized I was about to compromise my health.

Having grown up around people who were chronically ill, I made more hospital visits as a kid than I had been to birthday parties and sleepovers. The possibility of letting my life make me sick was the last straw.

I decided to commit my life to always being the version of me I was most excited about and inspired by, to build a life I never needed a vacation from, and to always prioritize my peace.

And I did all of those, too.

The first step was reassessing the rules I lived by. As I did that, I realized the few times I’d played by my own rules got me the things I was taught to chase. It’s how I finessed my full-ride scholarship ($$$$$$) to Howard University. It’s how I managed to land my cushy advertising job overseas — in London — while I was still in the USA.

I decided to apply my rules to the things I wanted in this new version of my life.

So I started a business to make money while I traveled, which allowed me to travel for family and my love of being an international foodie. Then I decided to move to SE Asia (because food — and because I was tired of cold winters on the east coast). Deepening my self-trust and self-mastery, I decided to tackle my long-term mental, emotional, and social health.

I started working with therapists and practitioners to help me heal from trauma that lived in my mind and body — rent-free — and stunted my growth. I moved on to setting comfortable boundaries that supported my healing journey.

I became more deeply invested in honest relationships where I can safely be my whole self. 

And I became less accessible to people who are too uncomfortable with their own selves to let me be my best self around them.

I moved on to looking at how my, and my family’s, relationship with money shaped my childhood and thinking. To get both my financial and occupational well-being in order, I studied (and got certified in) the Trauma of Money Method™. It is mind-blowing how much we’re groomed to revolve around a system that exploits each of us for our labor and money. Usually at the cost of our physical, mental, and emotional wellness. I’m proud to say I’ve joined the Trauma of Money™ faculty alongside other fantastic facilitators.

Helping clients make strides in their careers and business became my primary way of helping people live more balanced and enjoyable lives. But in our work, we always went beyond career stuff. We spent time digging into their deeper motivations and strategizing ways they could live a more satisfying life.

It was time for a major pivot.

Now I help people stop chasing “work-life” balance and instead achieve actual life balance. This way, they make room for what really matters to them and pursue goals they’ve always sat on. You know, the goals you think are “too much,” too “big,”  or too unrealistic to take on. It’s in those things we truly find meaning and life fulfillment.

I’d love to help you create balance in your life and help you reach your biggest, personal goals. I can’t wait for you to be thrilled to start your day in the morning, forget what the Sunday Scaries feel like, and be the true main character of this life you’ve worked so hard for.

Join us for a GoalWorking™ Group Session (co-working, but for your personal goals) or set up a 1:1 Life Blueprinting Session where we’ll map out new possibilities that inspire joy, elevate your motivation, and up your life satisfaction.